16 Reasons We’d Kill Joan Rivers If She Died

Joan Rivers nearly died while having plastic surgery.  Hollywood was shocked.  We braced ourselves for a big, bag of empty tributes from fellow colleagues.  Melissa Rivers bitch slapped her back to this limelight:

“I want to thank everyone for the overwhelming love and support for my mother, a statement read.  “She is resting comfortably and is with our family. We ask that you continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayers.”

We absolutely love Joan Rivers- despite her scrawny body, and permanent duck lips.  We’d kill Joan if she died.  Here’s why.


  • Who else has the balls to go at Barack Obama?
  • She was a feminist long before it became a trend.
  • She dresses ugly, but still host Fashion Police.
  • We never read, I Hate Everyone… Starting with Me because Costco refused to sell it.
  • She was rich, & famous before her sextape.
  • She ‘laughed at her pain’ before Kevin Hart.
  • Her comedic style is insulting.  Hopefully,she mentions you.  
  • North West really is ugly.
  • Joan used to strip in Las Vegas.
  • When Prince Charles married Camilla Parker Bowls, Rivers was invited to the ceremony.
  • She smoked Kush on Melissa & Joan: Joan Knows Best.
  • She only offends people she loves.
  • Joan Rivers starred in a movie with Barbara Streisand.
  • She’s from Brooklyn, just like Jay- Z.
  • Melissa Rivers momma smashed Johnny Carson!
  • Once you go Jew, you know how to screw.