5 Simple Rules For Being The Ultimate Side Piece

 Consider yourself #blessed if you are in a healthy, happy relationship. Unfortunately, we’ve all found ourselves on the other side of love, swept in a tsunami of emotions. If you’re one of those people caught in a love triangle, read below and peep the five commandments of being the man or woman “on the side”.



  1. Respect. If your ‘hook up’ is sincere enough to tell you up front that they’re married, (or have a significant other) who are you to disrespect their life? Never call or show up to their home or job, even with coercion. Just the other day, a Texas woman, Samantha Weber, was accused of creating a Craigslist sex ad using her husband’s, girlfriend’s home address. The kisses may be soft, the sex may be really rough, but the risk may lead to disaster. Respect their public image, and resist inserting yourself into their normal daily schedule.


  1. Condoms. Americans are suffering from sexually transmitted diseases at a staggering rate. Although unprotected sex is second nature after a few sweaty smash sessions, always remember to use protection. If your secret mate is cheating with you, don’t be alarmed if they are cheating on you. Humans tend to be creatures of habit. According to Aids.gov approximately 50,000 Americans become infected with HIV each year. Plus, did you here about Hot 97 DJ Mister Cee?


  1. Refrain. Ever notice how dessert is super satisfying after a hearty dinner? Good times are addictive. Adulterers usually get caught in the fantasy. The carefree quality time is a break from debt, deadlines, kids, and actuality. It’s pertinent that you keep things light. You are a vacation. No farts, serious conversations, and makeup-less days. Don’t dare plan a future, and use the L word. Refrain from getting mentally involved.


  1. Quiet! When you have something ‘great’ going on in your life, it’s impossible not to share it with friends and family. Shut your ass up, please? It is not cool boasting to your co-workers, hair stylist, or even your friends. Telling people that you’re ‘stepping out’ with a man or woman that’s spoken for is not cute. It’s impossible for people not to judge, rather they’re up front about it or not. Keep your business to yourself. Don’t even write it down, and surely don’t gloat on social media. No one trust a family crusher, regardless, don’t assume it’s okay to share.


  1. Date. You’d be foolish to hang on to thin air, and not date other people (if you aren’t married yourself). True, they may be genuinely cool, and stimulate your mind and body like no other. Please don’t lose sight…”they” belong to “them”. Fancy gifts, bomb sex, and easy conversation is no concrete evidence that they will ever leave their significant other. If they do part ways with their mate, who knows if you’re even next up. They could ditch them, and still pick someone other than you. Allow yourself to date and experience social activities with someone who’s actually available. Your lover will likely remain attached for life, or several more years. Don’t be left hanging with nada in the end.


Everyone deserves something they can call their own. However, we live in an internet obsessed generation fueled by twerking, and gay rights. So long are the days of 5 cents bread, and staying a virgin until you’re married. Beliebers wouldn’t dig The Scarlett Letter. This article isn’t intended to encourage lust. It’s point is not to suggest hoes take responsibility for ruining the lives of athletes, politicians, and couples who used to have love. At the day’s end, who are we to judge anyway?

I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” 

― Marilyn Monroe