What makes a marriage last? The answer to that question is different for everyone, and every marriage is individual. That said, there are lessons to be gleaned from other marriages and things we can incorporate into our own to fortify and strengthen them. But what are they?
Whether it’s regular hot sex for decades or something more subtle and intangible, the people we know who have been married for 10, 20, 30+ years all have their own reasons their relationships have endured while so many others have failed. A few weeks ago, we heard from 10 women on what a “good marriage” is.
This time, eight men get their say about what makes a marriage stand the test of time. And what they have to say might surprise you!
1.) “Upon discovering that my husband and I have been married for 41 years, people always ask us what is our secret. So I posed this question to my spouse, who is very quiet and parses his every word. Without hesitation, he remarked it was because as a highly romantic, creative individual who is the social secretary for our lives, he never knows what to expect from me from one minute to the next, and he finds he likes it. So the secret to our union is to always keep things interesting and exciting.”
~ Carol Gee, Atlanta, Georgia, married 41 years
2.) “I believe there is one key trait that can make or break a marriage — servant-hood. It may sound countercultural, but by considering your spouse’s needs as much or more than your own, you can exhibit love and humility that will strengthen a marriage, not prohibit it. I found this to be true in my own marriage.”
3.) “We respect and always want the best for each other. Therefore, we never allow the other to become complacent. We always encourage each other to learn, improve, and evaluate things in our lives that should be changed.”
~ Jim Sweeney, creator of MIKE Sports Entertainment, married 33 years
4.) “We began our relationship as friends. We were both dating other people but knew each other as friends. Eventually the partners we both had went their ways and we started seeing each other. Even during our formative years, I considered my wife a good friend and confidant. We shared and enjoyed lots of first-time things together, which helped cement our bond.”
~ Mark W., San Jose, California, married 31 years
If you want to keep your man, you’d better Continue!