Amal Alamuddin Exhausted With Sandra Bullock Already

Sandra Bullock was completely blindsided by Clooney’s quickie marriage to Amal.  They co- starred in Gravity, and shared a few drunken nights aboard his ultra yacht- but George didn’t feel obligated to share his showmance details.  Hollyweird is well aware of Sandy’s crush on George Clooney.  He’s the only dude she’s ever introduced to baby Louis.  Close pals watched the relationship blossom when Jesse James dumped her.  Amal Alamuddin is new to the industry, but she’s no fool.

“Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip,” Tina Fey said at the Golden Globe Awards. “So tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.”

Amal’s #1 mission in life is to find Sandra a man!  While she respects the ongoing friendship between her flirtatious husband, and Miss Congeniality, she’s obsessed with hooking Sandra up with somebody.  Amal does not care if he’s Hollywood, a hunky London lawyer, or Pizza Hut delivery driver.  She refuses to play 3rd wheel, to George and Sandra’s corny industry memories, and sex jokes.

Sandra is thirsty for Amal’s acceptance, and friendship.  She calls her nearly every single day begging for fashion advice.  Amal has even agreed to babysit Louis, although he’s the only black person she’s seen in real life, besides TV.  Amal Alamuddin is desperate to find Sandra Bullock a man, even if she has to pay for him.  The fact that they’re both brunettes with the same height, and weight, makes Amal uneasy.  She knows they smashed before.