Cameron Diaz Benji Madden Quickie Wedding

Mark Wahlburg didn’t join Donnie in his union to Jenny McCarthy. Rumors suggested he wasn’t digging Jenny’s swag.  Will Joel be there for Benji?   Joel Madden is afraid for his twin brother.  Nicole Richie  had to go sticking her anorexic nose in her brother-n-law’s love life.  Every since Benji Madden has been forking Cameron Diaz, they’ve been discussing weddings and babies.  They’ve dated only a short time, but insiders claim they’ll walk down the aisle soon.   Joel loves Cameron, but he knows she’s a promiscuous thot who has smashed all of Hollyweird.  Diaz is nearly 10 years older than Benji, and is desperate for a husband and child #NoScarlettJohansson.

Are they too serious too soon?  Joel thinks so.  Benji is obviously kitten whipped.  He’s infatuated with Cam’s tight abs, and bottomless throat.  Her A List celeb status doesn’t hurt either.  Ask Diddy, A-Rod, Jude Law, and Justin Timberlake, why they dumped Cameron Diaz.  They’ll all admit her nasty,nympho ways, and steroid addiction played a part.

Joel doesn’t want his brother rushing into forever Ever with a stranger.  Can you blame him?  Joel Richie, of all folks, knows what it feels like to be stuck in a loveless showmance.  He married Nicole because she was a big star with her own cash.  Now  he wishes he would have chosen someone else who makes him feel valued, and appreciated.  Nicole talks to him like a bitch, and treats him with no respect.  Nic has always made it clear.   She’s the bigger star.  Joel knows what it’s like to be a professional ass- kisser.  He doesn’t want that life for Benji.  Ever notice how Nicole never changed her last name?  Nicole Madden doesn’t have a ring to it.