Chuck Lorre V Stiviano Showmance

“I violently hate Chaim Levine [Chuck Lorre]. He’s a stupid, stupid little man and a p—- punk that I’d never want to be like. That’s me being polite. That piece of s— took money out of my pocket, my family’s pocket, and, most importantly, my second family — my crew’s pocket. You can tell him one thing: I own him.” –Charlie Sheen

Chuck Lorre has created more successful sitcoms than your average Hollyweird elitist. His marriages are no match against eager socialites who ‘Will Suck For Fame’.  Chuck took time away from The Big Bang Theory, and Two and a Half Men to reveal his celebrity crush.  V. Stiviano will be happy to know that if Donald Sterling grows sick of her blackness, Lorre has a bunch of cash too.

Drugs and alcohol are the most commonly used substances to mask one’s feelings.

Less toxic means to perform this same function are shopping, sex, exercise, eating, traveling, watching films and television, reading, sleeping and, my all-time favorite, work.

I’ve been on hiatus for less than two weeks.

During that time I’ve flown across the country twice, gained six pounds, read three books, played very bad golf on very good golf courses, caught up on The Walking Dead, Vikings, Mad Men, The Good Wife, Justified, Game of Thrones, Fargo, binge-viewed The Wire (again), turned napping into an art form, and maxed out a credit card.

There’s only one emotional avoidance mechanism left to explore.

Which makes me wonder if V. Stiviano is still into old guys.

It Gets Worse