Guess Who Murdered Charlize Theron Daddy

Angelina Jolie wanna-be, Charlize Theron, is feeling down right miserable.  She can’t seem to bump Tia Mowry from her uppity Soul Cycle class.  She did an awesome job as Evil Queen Ravenna, Snow White’s evil stepmother.  However, the Hollyweird box office was disappointed with  her mediocre attempt at comedy, A Million Ways to Die in the West.  Kids, Jackson and August, almost had a stepdad.  She hooked up with A-lister, Sean Penn, with hopes of becoming a government official, or goodwill ambassador.  The showmance ended horribly, with Penn cheating with a young extra on the set of The Last Face.  

Charlize Theron is tall, blonde, and thin like a model.  What’s her deal?  Why is finding love so difficult for the Oscar winning Monster?  Theron tries to forget about the night her abusive alcoholic dad, threatened to kill both her, and her mother- Gerda Jacoba Aletta. Charles Jacobus Theron was filled with demons, and whiskey, when Charlize heard him banging on the front door.

“I told my mom that it was my dad,” Charlize told police.  “My father said he would shoot us both dead with his shotgun.  My mom said she was afraid he would kill us.  The next moment, I heard a number of shots.  Then I heard her screaming…When I went into the passage, my mom was sitting in a corner of the bedroom.  My mother wept, and said, ‘Charlize I’ve shot him.’  Then I saw the body of my father.”

The shooting was ruled justifiable.  Moma Gerda never served a day in jail.  Was it an Illuminati sacrifice?  Does Charlize Theron’s love struggle, have anything to do with her mom murdering her dad?  They moved to Hollyweird, and never looked back.