Jennifer Lopez Ditches Casper Smart For ‘J-Lo’ Mattel Barbie Contract

Jennifer Lopez has decided to carry the entire Latino community in her Spanx.  She’s defied all the AARP stereotypes, and continues to rock stages in glittery cat suits.  Jennifer is a long ways from street tacos and #thestruggle.

J- Lo is known for being a bitch behind the scenes.  You can’t stare at her, speak to her, or even breathe in her direction.  Her mother won the lottery, so she doesn’t really care if you buy her Pop music.  If you aren’t splurging on her perfume, bouncing to her beats, or jocking her American Idol swag-  then you’re hating on her relationship with Casper Smart (who is young enough to be her son by the way).

If you squint your eyes really hard, you’ll notice Mariah Carey’s ego in a Filipino typhoon. Jennifer ‘Ho’ Pez must have used her sex as a weapon, because she now has  her very own Barbie doll!

jlo barbieJennifer Lopez arrives on the red carpet for the 84th Annual Academy Awards on February 26, 2012

Diddy must be weeping in his Ciroc.  He cheated on Jennifer, like he does all his other whores.  Cassie is sweet, but does he have the balls to ever commit to one woman?  More so, is Jennifer Lopez pregnant by Casper?  They forgot to add the ass on the J-Ho Barbie, so what?  Should Mattel have added a baby bump too?

jlo barbieUS singer Jennifer Lopez performs during a concert in Panama City, Panama, 14 June 2012