Katy Perry Crippled From Osteoporosis

Being jealous of Taylor Swift, and Rihanna left Katy Perry with Osteoporosis.  We crave milk just thinking of it.  Is Katy Perry older than she claims, or nah? Osteoporosis causes bones to become weak and brittle – like Kimye’s ego.  Katy’s bones are so fragile that a fall or even mild stress like bending over and coughing can cause a fracture.  Katy Perry blames her achy knees on performing at such a high level.  Truthfully, there is nothing more high than Perry’s junkie boyfriends.

At the tender age of 30, Katy Perry Kissed A Girl, with her rickety knees.  Hollyweird’s California Gurls sacrifice nutrition for being super skinny.  Fresh BenGay overwhelms her cheap perfume.  Perry’s hair is equally damaged from super-stardom.

We ain’t saying she sucked her way to the top, but Katy Perry’s knees are more weak than Steve Nash.  These days, she’s addicted to acupuncture like Gwen Stefani.  It’s all she can do to relieve the pain.  Touring and back- stabbing takes the energy of an Olympian.  Since her knees are gone, we guess she has to vacuum cocks lying down.  No old woman should have so much power.