Keanu Reeves Adopts African Kid With Ebola

West African nations are struggling to contain the Ebola Haemorrhagic Fever ravishing innocent families.  Fellow countries are slamming their borders to keep the feces out.

“All delegates from any of the countries affected by Ebola Virus disease are restricted from entering Zambia until further notice,” Dr. Joseph Kasonde, Zambia’s Minister of Health, sadly admitted.

That’s not stopping Keanu Reeves from adopting a little poverty stricken, nappy headed, African baby.  Medicinal patients claim Reeves is jealous of his ex thots, Sandra Bullock, and Charlize Theron adopted children.  The Matrix hero is so horrified by his classmates new-found publicity and respect.  Keanu has decided to adopt a kid of his own.

Keanu Reeves noticed that although Sandy, and Charlize are single parents, they’re more youthful.  Plus, they’ve appeared on plenty of headlines.  Angelina Jolie may be high enough to deal with kids.    Madonna, just made adopting  poor blacks, the Hollyweird trend. Reeves has  been depressed every since Jennifer Syme delivered his stillborn baby.   Plus he hasn’t had a hit since Whitney Houston.