Mitch Kupchak is being scrutinized by the NBA League over his decision to consider signing Metta World Peace. Mitch is suffering from the grizzly aftermath of lying on his resume, and relying on inside connections. Largely ridiculed for his lack of basketball IQ, he signed Karl Malone and Gary Payton (2003) after they were old, and washed up, too. When Kupchak refused to not trade Andrew Bynum for Jason Kidd, Kobe Bryant rallied to have him fired. Fans, and league sponsors shouted praise when he developed a plan to acquire Chris Paul. It was a genius play.
“The Lakers pulled off a trade that immediately set us up for a championship, a run of championships later, and which saved money,” Bryant told GQ. “Now, the NBA vetoed that trade. But the Lakers pulled that sh-t off, and no one would have thought it was even possible. The trade got vetoed, because they’d just staged the whole lockout to restrict the Lakers. (GM) Mitch (Kupchak) got penalized for being smart. But if we could do that…”
Inside connections claim things are tense between Mr. Basketball Jerry West, and his apprentice, Mitch Kupchak. Tourist eating lunch at Chick Hearn Court overheard the two legends beefing over bloody marys and chicken salad. Jerry had Wolfgang Puck Bar & Grill LIT, screaming:
I made you motherfu**a, don’t you EVER forget it! You wouldn’t be shit without me! I kissed Jerry Buss ass, and sucked Magic Johnson’s cock! to get you with Showtime Lakers! It was ME who pulled strings to have you working in the front office, I introduced you to the Buss family boy! You were just a player. I believed in you so much, I paid for your MBA from the UCLA Anderson. How do you think you got the GM job Mitch? When I went to Memphis, I told Jerry to put you in. In 2008, you didn’t close a deal with Pau Gasol, I gave him to you…you fu%$ing idiot! You’re only here because of me! When the Boston Celtics snatched Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen – It was lights out for you buddy. Jerry Buss was looking for your replacement. I saved your ass with Pau. I’m not going to keep fixing your fu** ups Mitch. I just can’t!
Everyone at L.A. Live heard Jerry disrespect Mitch. It was a humiliating verbal bitch slap, that made onlookers fear for Kupchak’s job. Will the Los Angeles Lakers ever regain their championship reputation? Should Mitch Kupchak be fired, or demoted? Should Kobe Bryant retire to free up money for the rise of the next Laker great? Is Mitch a great NBA GM, or a teacher’s pet?