Michael Strahan Bankrupt – Blame Nicole Murphy

One couple has enough star power to compete with Kanye West, and Kim Kardashian-  and enough money to rebuild Haiti.  Sorry Kimye, but Michael Strahan will have the biggest wedding of all time.

Although this will be Kim Kardashian’s 3rd marriage, Kanye West promises fighter jets.  Kris Jenner works for TMZ, so the showmance will be televised.  Everyone already knows Kim is using Kanye for legitimacy , plus we’ve seen Kim get married already.  Michael Strahan is marrying Eddie Murphey’s ex, Nicole.  Insiders claim the couple is shopping a network willing to air the wedding.  We smell a rich celebrity wearing stinky perfume.  Nicole’s money is longer than Crenshaw, and wider than Strahan’s gap.  She is determined to have the most epic wedding ever.

Skyscrapers, 14K gold limos…you name it.  The guest list will have the same dope heads who attended Philip Seymour Hoffman’s funeral.  Strahan wants his wedding to look like Jay Leno’s final episode with A-list guest, and mega star entertainment.  Sports heroes, politicians, and everyone in the Illuminati will be there.   Sorry, but reports claim they will spend approximately $10 million dollars in this economy.  Kelly Ripa is fried.