Friday Franchise Dead Unless Kevin Hart Signs On

#TBT

Ice Cube is merging into a Hollyweird icon.  Jonah Hill is Oscar nominated, and Channing Tatum is Magic Mike, but O’ Shea Jackson is the HNIC on the set of 22 Jumpstreet.  

“I was in their ass from day one,” Cube bragged to LA Times.  “I think the crew gets a big kick out of it. Jonah and Channing — they tell everyone else what to do in the making of the movie. I get to come in and get on them and say things the crew might want to say.”

Why are we surprised?  Ice Cube paid his dues Straight Outta Compton.  He’s been rocking the microphone, dripping jerry curl juice, since forever.  Let’s not forget he discovered Lisa Raye.  The outspoken, but living legend, has a right to be a N.W.A.

Ride Along, starring Kevin Hart, raked in a gazillion dollars.  Hollywood begged the duo to agree to another installment.  Ride Along 2 is already in the making!  Showbiz honchos were so flabbergasted by Cube’s appeal, they offered him a backwards blow-job to release Barbarshop 3.  Did you know Ice Cube is animated star, Capt. Dickson, in The Lego Movie? 

There aren’t any American actors being invited  to star in so many franchise Hollywood flicks at once.  Weirdos have wasted years waiting on a 4th Installment of Friday.  What’s up?  Is Cube waiting on  Dr. Dre to drop Detox, before he  gives us Friday 4?

“For some reason, New Line and Time Warner just won’t step to the plate and treat the movie like it should be treated,” Cube complained about  Friday 4. “I want to bring everybody back: Chris Tucker, Katt Williams, John Witherspoon, Mike Epps. That’s going to cost some money.

“I thought with the success of Ride Along, that would be a no-brainer. But I guess it’s more than a no-brainer. This ain’t 1994, you know what I’m saying? You can’t get a 2014 movie for a 1994 price.”

What if Kevin Hart agreed to star in Friday 4?

It Gets Worse