Rebecca Crews, when did you find out Terry was addicted to porn?
I will tell you that there will a couple of occasions in a 25 year marriage when I did catch him watching it and I did my good ol’ prayer girl, sister thing like ‘You going to see the pastor.’ You better get yourself together and of course he assured me that it wasn’t a big deal, it wasn’t frequent so he lied about the intensity of his addiction. Being a woman who believes in God believes in prayer, I was like Jesus can fix anything, so get your butt over there [to the pastor] so he just lied.
Terry Crews, did you have a collection or was it just online?
Online. It wasn’t a collection I was smart enough not to keep anything in the house I suffer from something… the Bible calls it double-minded. I was a loving father, husband, the whole thing, but in the back of my mind I needed something like pornography just to chill. It’s almost like not admitting you’re an alcoholic or something like that. I’m a Christian. Lord, I’m sorry, but I have this thing in my life. But the thing is you can’t live in two worlds and I was getting farther and farther away from Rebecca. Pornography is an intimacy killer. It just started building up a wall. A lot of people get divorced and they don’t even understand how the separation began. It wasn’t that she caught me. She was like ‘Something is wrong with you and I finally had to admit it was a problem… I realized I couldn’t stop.
Rebecca, did you feel pressured to step up the intimacy because of it? Porn is a fantasy. You know, I’ve had five kids, so there were times we weren’t intimate. The issue was his desires for me were based on this fantasy. He would behave very strangely in bed. I can recall times feeling like ‘What are you doing,’ like he was trying to manipulate me a little bit or make me behave like the women in the porn. He had this fixed fantasy about what [sex] should be. Some of it was in his over-watching it, you don’t even want real person. A real person can never match up to a fantasy. – BlackAmericaWeb