Tiger Woods Kids Have A New Daddy Now

Elin Nordegren put her Playboy Bunny blonde hair, and smashing good looks to good use.  Word on the streets claim she’s forking her neighbor, Christopher Cline.  Cline is supposedly worth at least $1 billion.  He is old enough to be her dad.  Tiger Woods can’t come close to competing with this fat cat.  He owns Foresight Energy And Cline Resource, a coalmine in Chicago.

Governor Pat Quinn, (replaced Rod Blagojevich) strangely landed into a sea of campaign money donated by Cline, and his big shot coal buddies.  The donations seem suspect because 4 workers died at his Sugar Camp mine.  Farmers say he’s ruining the land.  Meanwhile, greedy politicians pocketed millions, without holding Christopher, or his company responsible.

“There should be a federal investigation into whether the Cline companies got special treatment in permitting and safety because of campaign contributions,” tree hugger, Will Reynolds, told Enquirer.  “It looks like this money was used to buy favors.”  Will may have a point, or he might be hating.

Cline owns 15o acres in the Appalachian.  His yacht is so long, it has its own submarine. They call it’ Mine Games’.  Elin invested Tiger’s scandal money in a 21,000 sq ft home that is coincidentally right beside a mega rich divorcee.    They hooked up at a New Year’s Eve party.  Hopefully, Elin is ’bout day life’.  This dude is so wealthy, they call him ‘New King Coal’.  Foreigners tried extorting the coal goon for money.  They threatened to kill him!

So while Tiger’s dragging limped leg Lindsey Vonn around town, Christopher Cline is getting Elin’s panties wetter than the Atlantic. He told Tiger’s kids to call him Dad.