Tim Howard Engaged ? Or Nah?

Tim Howard has been on every thot’s wishlist since his break-out performance in his team’s miserable loss to Belgium.  Groupies wonder why he’s single.  He’s young, gorgeous,rich, and very flexible.  Soccer sluts bombarded England’s Everton Football Club stalking the goalkeeper.   Fans want to smell his goatee.  The US National Team receives fan mail dedicated to Howard with scented panties inside.  Tim hasn’t smashed anyone since Laura Cianciola left him for a Miami Vatho.  So what’s the deal?  Is Tim gay?  Does Tim Howard have a super small pecker, or nah?

Most fan’s don’t realize Tim Howard suffers from Tourette’s Syndrome.  Howard constantly fights involuntary muscle movements.  There is no time to fight with some gold digging bitch over his busy schedule, and connection with his kids.  Tim has more ticks, than a fake ass Rolex.  He’s taking a break, but blaming it on bull.

“Having played overseas for the last 12 years and missing out on spending time with my family, making this commitment to my family is very important at this time,” Howard admitted.  “It’s the right decision at the right time. Jurgen has always been up front with all the players in saying you have to earn your place, which is something I agree with. So I look forward to coming back next fall and competing for a spot.”

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People have been cruel to Howard his entire life.  Howard went HAM, “Tourette’s wasn’t going to stop me from achieving my dreams.”

When Tim Howard isn’t encouraging other kids with special needs, he’s gearing up to release his autobiography, The Keeper.  Sara McLean hasn’t had a hit since Amy Winehouse.  Quite naturally, she tells everyone in London that she’s Tim’s fiance.  Yeah right.