We Would Not Attend Chance Hogan School – Yall Better Watch Crocodile Dundee Son

Crocodile Dundee’s son, Chance Hogan, is in trouble.  His pops, Aussie actor Paul Hogan, is humiliated beyond repair.  There is something eerie about growing up in Hollyweird.  Maybe all the pressure from having wealthy, beautiful, parents who are gone all the time, makes them depressed.  Following in the footsteps of Chaz Bono, Jaden Smith, and Chet Hanx – Chance already needs therapy rehab.

Chance Hogan is your typical WEIRD BABY.  At the tender age of 16, you can catch Chance guzzling brews, and sucking bongs on the balcony of his Los Feliz mega mansion.  Can you blame him?  His parents started a WEIRD ROMANCE on set. Yes, Chance moma pulled a Kylie Jenner. Linda Kozlowski easily snatched Paul Hogan from his beloved wife.  She is 20 years his junior, young enough to be his daughter.

“I lived in Paul’s shadow for many, many years and it’s nice to feel my own light right now,” she said, after dumping her ex co- star, and only child.  Although they’d been married over 20 years, Linda also confessed, “One of our problems was we really had nothing in common and, over time, that happens to a lot of people.”  The divorce crushed the family’s relationships.

We’re afraid for kids at Chance Hogan’s school in Santa Monica!  Instead of connecting with her teenager, Linda Kozlowski has vowed to rekindle her acting career… honey boo child.

“Actors obviously don’t want to be in the shadow, they want to be in the light, so I feel really good right now, really positive.”

Chance Hogan is always alone nurturing his Satan obsession.  This kid is not only getting high.  He is studying black arts voodoo.  The little anti- Christ wears 666 symbols, like Kim Kardashian wears camel wool.  He scrolled the Mark of the Beast across his tiny, rich, forehead.  Only his therapist knows why.  He’s always creepy, and smoking like a chimney.  Chance has trouble fitting in at school.  The 666 t-shirts and paintings, have everything to do with it.