Why Everyone Working For Michelle Obama Keeps Quitting – Ask Sam Kass

Sasha and Malia Obama are  overwhelmed with despair.  Republican officials are dissing their wardrobe.  First ‘Mean-Ass’ Michelle Obama keeps forcing the White House staff to quit.  We heard she’s on her 3rd chief of staff, 3rd social secretary, and her 3rd communications director.

“The first lady’s office can be a confining, frustrating, even miserable place to work,” an ex White House staffer confessed in, “The Worst Wing.”

Sam Kass has been down with the Obamas since 2005.  The First Family personal chef finally quit, just like everyone else.

“He just couldn’t take it – the relentless nitpicking, over petty little details that drove him insane. She thinks she’s Marie Antoinette!” a White House staffer snitched to  The ENQUIRER.

“It has nothing to do with Sam’s cooking, which is superb. But you could be Wolfgang Puck and Michelle wouldn’t be happy. She’ll find some reason to turn up her nose, no matter how good a job you’ve done!”

Sasha and Malia look at Sam like a big brother, or uncle.  They are devastated.  Michelle sent one too many plates back with nasty complaints.  Cooking from the world’s best chef, just wasn’t good enough.  Either that, or Barack Obama ain’t hitting it right.  The Let’s Move campaign would not have happened without Sam Kass.    Jackie Norris barely lasted 4 months.  Robin Schepper did not last a full year either.  Dr.  Judith Palfrey almost whooped her ass for disrespecting her.  Why Michelle so angry, and always pissing people off?