Scarlett Johansson Stuck With Woody Allen Baby

 Scarlett Johansson  finally had her kid.  Lupita Nyong’ o doesn’t give a damn, and neither do we.  Ryan Reynold’s sold their old love nest and replaced her with Blake Lively.  Sean Penn beat that rebound kitten to a pulp, then dropped her like a bad habit.  Getting pregnant may ruin your body, but for Scarlett, it’s the biggest career move of her life.

Being the Sexiest Woman Alive comes with extreme, unimaginable pressure.  It’s impossible to land a role as an extra in Hollyweird.  To be considered the Sexist Woman Alive in this industry  is like winning 10 Oscars. Keep scarfing your potatoes.  Scarlett Johansson is the epitome of Hollywood.  Although she has not reached 30, Esquire gave her the crown in 06, and AGAIN last year!

Penn acted like it was a sin to be ‘tied down’, but we see him getting it on with Charlize Theron just fine.  Penn hated Johansson grubbing on pizza, pasta, and wine.  She loved desserts, and hated working out.  All the tabloids claim she was offended by his encouraging her to diet.  Romain Dauriac  or Woody Allen worked with that thick jelly  and knocked her up.

Scarlett has been a Hollywood staple since she was 10 years old.  The sacrifice is relentless.  She’s hungry from starving to be perfect.  Doesn’t she deserve to watch reality tv, make-up free, in her big momma drawers?  When starlets like Johansson need rest, they either get pregnant, or go to rehab for ‘exhaustion’.  Ask Selena Gomez.