Wyatt Isabelle Kutcher – Youngest Kabbalah Member Of All Time

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have ice feet about getting married, but Wyatt is the cutest thing ever.  Although she’s a few weeks old, insiders say Wyatt Isabelle Kutcher is sporting a tiny red string around her wittle wrist.  The red wrist string is primarily used in the Kabbalah religion to ward off evil spirits.  In coordinates with the religion, grandparents and close family members were not allowed to see Wyatt until the other day.  Nobody was allowed near baby Wyatt, but family members didn’t even find it weird.

“It’s no surprise they’d start Wyatt so early, because Ashton’s family members are devout followers- including his father Larry, twin brother Michael and sister Tausha,” somebody snitched to The ENQUIRER.

“They’re very much into it. They feel it’s not a religion, but a way of life.”

Is Kaballah better than Scientology?  Demi Moore initially introduced the religion to Ashton.  Where was the red string bracelet when he freaked Sara Leal in a Cali hot tub?  Wyatt has been given the gift and curse of FAME.  She needs all the help she can get, or end up like Miley Cyrus, Willow & Jaden Smith.

Ashton’s money, and celebrity has a massive influence over his entire crew.

“While Ashton and his siblings were raised Catholic, they became disenchanted after their parents divorced. Because Ashton is so devoted to Kabbalah, he has converted his family over the years.  It’s a family culture now, and they go to spiritual retreats together and study with Ashton.  It’s who they are now.”

It Gets Worse