Justin Bieber has managed to avoid catching a felony case, although he refuses to stop following behind Lil Twist. Everyone says Scooter Braun (his manager) is like the white P- Diddy. Scooter is marinating in his fame, and was caught twerking, and bopping like a dehydrated fan at Drizzy’s Barclay’s Center concert. Lots of A listers are fans of the emo- rapper, or maybe they were paid to show up? Madonna, L.A. Reid, Busta Rhymes, Jamie Foxx, ASAP Rocky (with his dump truck, Chanel Iman), and Kevin Garnett all rocked out with…
ReceiptsKim And Khloe Kardashian Fighting Again? Kim Kardashian Jealous And Insecure!
Put 4 black cats in a Halloween sack, and drop it off in the wilderness. Thanks to bad attitudes, over drinking, plastic surgery, and too much good living- Khloe Kardashian is suddenly the prettiest. Kris Jenner allegedly drinks wine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Fans speculate that her vodka breath got her show cancelled. Kourtney Kardashian is still cute, but the vegan food she eats may be aging her prematurely. Either that, or Scott Disick snuck and got Botox (he looks great). Kim Kardashian is still a bad beeyotch. What…
ReceiptsKristen Stewart Feeling Lonely And Guilty For The Holiday Season – Robert Pattinson Parties To Rehab
What’s more tortuous than ranting at Siri, and getting no where? Being alone for the holidays is roaches in the refrigerator. While Robert Pattinson was out partying in Hollyweird, boosting his ego for sightseeing tourist, poor Kristen, was at home crying in her wine. Halloween is a really big deal in Hollyweird, people respect the holiday more than Christmas. Just last year, Kristen Stewart, and Robert Pattinson were a memorable couple for Hollyweird’s Halloween festivities. .They wore matching bank robber masks, and you know K-Stew won’t leave home without those dusty…
ReceiptsKanye West Talks Kim Kardashian, Marriage, Hating Paparazzi, And Being The Best (LIVE)
Robert Pattinson Caught Partying With Strange Woman- Kristen Stewart Suggest Intervention?
Robert Pattinson misses Kristen Stewart so bad, he’s decided to sell their old love nest. He wasn’t even in the mix for Christian Grey. Fans were left slippery, and hopeful. Tabloid’s claim he’s getting over the Trampire with Dylan Penn. Twi-Hards are worried sick that heartbreak has pushed Pattinson to Zac Efron like, drinking, and drug addictions. Welcome to Hollyweird. Everybody gets a little desperate sometimes, but Pattinson reduced himself to sniffing some ‘regular’ kitty. Just when Clint and Dina Eastwood’s divorce pressured you into losing hope, Robert Pattinson allowed…
ReceiptsVIDEO: Drunk Passenger Fights With Airplane Captain After Stripping NAKED
Where is ‘Your Mother’, when you need her?
ReceiptsEddie Cibrian Humiliated! LeAnn Rimes Disrupts Opry Goes Pink Event With Reality Show Cameras (Photo- Video)
No one knows how to snatch a woman’s family, and rub it in their face, like LeAnn Rimes. She begs the media to push past her home wrecking ways, and focus on her dissolving career. Just when we all got distracted by the racial, and social divide over Obamacare, she tweets a picture of this: Ugh. We just wish the fugly country bumpkin wasn’t so talented. We can list a million reasons why we refer to Rimes as ‘Flea-Ann’, but we cannot hate on her vocal chops or her ability…
ReceiptsFEMALE BODY BUILDER GREW A PENIS USING STEROIDS (Pictures)
Candice Armstrong was left with peach fuzz on her face,’24 inch pythons’ and a one-inch penis after using steroids in an attempt to beef up. It all started when she started working out vigorously to improve her physique. She suffers from Dysmorphia, so she worked out three hours a day. She worked out harder than Michael Vick did in the pen. A friend referred her to steroids, and soon later her body started metamorphosing. Her clitoris turned into a 1-inch penis, and she began growing facial hair.…
ReceiptsThe Government Shut Down Encourages Consumerism And Credit Addiction- America’s New $100 Bill
You were too overwhelmed with dodging your creditors, and Keeping Up With With The Kardashians to know they made a brand new $100 bill. 3.5 billion of them have been made, and 3.5 billion more will likely be counterfeited. The government tries tirelessly to prevent scoundrels from duplicating the cash, but it never works. This Benjamin Franklin version includes a blue security ribbon, a color changing bell, raised printing, micro printing, and the whole back is redesigned. Conspiracy theorist suggest the California version of the new $100 bill uses a perfumed…
ReceiptsTaylor Swift Suffering From Exhaustion
Work. Work. Work. Hollyweird is a machine, and we hope T-Swizzle doesn’t let it wipe her out. She’s tired, wouldn’t you be?
ReceiptsHigh School Students Perform Oral Sex During Lunch In The School Cafeteria
Two high school freshman are charged with having oral sex in the campus cafeteria. Another male student received an offer for a blow job, but declined. Later he told school administrators what happened. The overwhelmed student assumed it was a joke,until the promiscuous teen began pulling his pants down. He stopped her immediately. This was all a result of a game of truth or dare. When we were in high school we wanted PBJ’s (peanut butter and jelly sandwiches) for lunch. Not BJ’s…Where is ‘Your Mother’ when you need…
ReceiptsKris Humphries Dad Confirms That Kim Kardashian Kanye West Relationship Is Fake
North West was left crying in the shadows with her nanny, while Kim Kardashian and Kanye West celebrated their engagement for the world. Kimye is no Prince William, and Kate Middleton, but Hollyweird headlines beg to differ. Yeezus sold his soul with a 15-carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond in front of a stadium billboard bearing the message “PLEEEASE MARRY MEEE!!! ” The irony of it all? The ring is a bit smaller than the one Kris Humphries gave her. Kim had Kris’ ring this entire time, until West demanded she…
ReceiptsKendall And Kylie Jenner Reality Show Spin-Off!
We’re grateful Kanye West finally proposed to Kim Kardashian. The plan came together like a pair of sweaty ass cheeks. Now if we can just get rid of that freaking Kylie and Kendall Jenner! It’s just our luck that they’ve inherited their mom’s great looks, and father’s amazing physique. We love them, but we’re glad they aren’t our sisters. They went to a a few night clubs, smoked little Kush, drunk a little drank, smashed a few rappers, popped a few seductive selfies on social media, and even had a…
ReceiptsBetty White Twerks- Dolly Parton Raps- It’s All About Miley Cyrus – (VIDEOS)
Betty White decided to join in on the fun of spoofing Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball classic. Let’s just hope the #smilers don’t do her like they did Sinead O Conner! Why did Queen Latifah make Dolly Parton assume it was okay to rap? What is the world coming to? Check out the weird videos below, and follow us on twitter @HollyweirdTimes.
ReceiptsMom Jailed For Burning Her Son’s Penis And Nipples
According to Concord Monitor, an evil woman burned her sons penis and nipples off. She also made him eat feces and worms. Christine Gelineau strangled , and tortured her own son. Why is the question. Prosecutors believe that her mentally challenged son’s government assistance ran out since he was not in school. Christine began humiliating him, forcing him to drink urine for breakfast, and beating him for dinner. Where is ‘Your Mother’ when you need her?
Receipts50th Anniversary of JFK’s Death Marked By Rumors Of His Missing Brain (Photo- Video)
John F. Kennedy’s brain didn’t get buried with him at Arlington National Cemetery. A new book claims his brother stole his brain, and we don’t know where he stashed it. “Not all the evidence from the assassination is at the National Archives. One unique, macabre item from the collection is missing — President Kennedy’s brain,” writes James Swanson in “End of Days: The Assassination of John F. Kennedy.” The weird news comes out right after Halloween in this spooky new book. According to the NYPost: During JFK’s autopsy…
ReceiptsFormer Mexican Drug King Gets Murdered By A Clown In Cabo Tourist Resort
Tijuana, Mexico is known for cheap prescription drugs, and hosting a good time. We certainly hope you didn’t plan on Spring Breaking in Cabo San Lucas. An ex Cartel member was gunned down in a ritzy tourist area. Known as “The End of Earth”, Cabo put Francisco Rafael Arellano Felix in the dirt. World news reports he was shot dead in the head at a “party venue”. The guy who smoked Felix showed up dressed as a clown. There have been no arrest so far.
ReceiptsKanye West Gets Upstaged By Kendrick Lamar At Concert- Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe!
We’re not sure who thought of the brilliant idea of pairing Kendrick Lamar with Kanye West, but hip hop fans are loving it, according to @MTVNews. Kendrick, self proclaimed, ‘leader of the new school’ ,has the golden opportunity to open a tour for Yeezus. Seattle Washington’s Key Arena, was filled with hip hop heads. Everyone was hungry for some life changing , paparazzi beating, from Jay Z’s left hand man, Ye. However, when Kendrick Lamar grabbed the mic, fans were engulfed in the freshness of his lyrical content. MTV…
ReceiptsKhloe Kardashian And Lamar Odom Secretly Filming Khloe & Lamar Season 3
As much as we hated Kim Kardashian’s nasty booty selfie, we cannot remove the horribly delicious sight from our memory. Kris Jenner wants us to really believe that she’s separated from Bruce Jenner. Kourtney ‘boring’ Kardashian tries hard to convince us that she’s unlike her poochie popping sisters. Khloe Kardashian almost had us fooled too. The cheating, drug scandal headlines promoted in the tabloids against her (bench warming) NBA husband, Lamar Odom, was just a ruse to get us hard as a brick for the new season of Khloe& Lamar.…
ReceiptsAdult Man Spends $100,000 To Look Like Justin Bieber
According to Complex, 33 year old Tony Sheldon spent $100,000.00 on surgery to look like Justin Bieber. He is an up and coming artist. He yearned for that million dollar smile, and little boy look. Does he resemble’ The Biebs’ to you? How many bologna sandwiches did he eat to look like Bieber? Do you think he should have saved his money? Where is ‘Your Mother’ when you need her?
ReceiptsNina Dobrev Promises To Reunite With Ian Somerhalder If He Lands Role In Fifty Shades Of Grey
The Vampire Diaries fans will be happy to know that Nina Dobrev couldn’t handle the pressure of dating Y-Lister, Derek Hough. Ian Somerhalder sunk to an all time low, partly because of the government shutdown, but mostly because Nina back stabbed him by publicly dating someone he assumed was just her ‘friend’. Derek mended his achy wounds by reconnecting with his DWTS (Dancing With The Stars) teammate, Maria Menounos. He may look fruitier than an apple martini, but Hough rolls with dimes only. It’s very difficult for Dobrev to have…
ReceiptsDead Baby Found In Teen Handbag
A 17 year old girl was caught shoplifting. Upon the search of her handbag, store security found a dead fetus. There were no signs of trauma or injury. The creepy girl said she was 6 months pregnant only seconds before (being caught stealing), but had sadly miscarried. Now what makes this weird is the obvious. Why would you walk around with a dead baby in your purse? Why would you shop lift with a dead baby in your purse, and why wasn’t your ass in school? Where is ‘Your Mother’…
ReceiptsMaster P Wife Files For Divorce
Is something in the water? First, Big Boi from Outkast wife called it quits. Then Timberland’s wife not just divorced him, but had the nerve to request child support for a kid that isn’t even his. Now Master P’s wife has filed for divorce. We’re not saying the urban community is in need of more Hip Hop leaders, but Ice Cube is one of the only Hip Hip OGs who’s married now. Sonya Miller filed divorce documents obtained by TMZ . She seeks to end her 24-year marriage based…
ReceiptsLady Gaga Teases New Music With R. Kelly (Video)
Lady Gaga boast a smidgen of “Do What U Want,” a new song featuring R. Kelly, in a Best Buy commercial ( Beats by Dre headphones). The snippet sounds electrifying, although everyone knows Gaga has enough money to buy his own CDs if sales don’t reflect his ego. You can’t think of R. Kelly without thinking of his superior credentials, and that God awful porno tape, but you’d still let him hit it wouldn’t you? The world can’t wait until ArtPop drops in early November. Do you love “Applause”? Did you hear String…
ReceiptsBeyonce Disrespects Government Shutdown With Diva Behavior
As the Kardashian family continues to hustle at regaining their number one spotlight, Beyonce is dodging pregnancy rumors again. Every since Solonge Knowles grew an afro, her parents divorced, Rihanna’s #Navy took over, and Blue Ivy Carter became familiar with paparazzi, Mrs. Carter has been on ‘I don’t give a f%$k’ mode. Although she’s married, the Houston diva refuses to be out shined. Bow Down. She’s given us plenty of leotard camel toe post Blue Ivy. To emphasize her reign, InTouch weekly mysteriously popped up with a list of her…
ReceiptsAngelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Sign PreNup- Pressured To Wed By Scientology Family
It’s just the beginning of the next episode. Everyone loves to hate Brangelina for the obvious reasons. They are beautiful, rich, and they have kids from all over the world. Tabloids have pressured them to officially wed for years. It seems an actual wedding may happen after all. Who wouldn’t want to marry a goodwill ambassador responsible for saving lives with her double mastectomy announcement? The ultimate Hollyweird couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, have supposedly signed a pre-nuptial agreement worth 200 million pounds. “Angelina has always been a bit…
ReceiptsBrandi Glanville Hooks Up With Dean Sheremet- LeAnn Rimes Devastated!
Dean Sheremet embarrassed LeAnn Rimes when he revealed her devilish ways in a TV interview. “Unfortunately, I found out right before the story broke… I got a call from LeAnn and she said, ‘Us Weekly may or may not have a picture of me and Eddie (Cibrian) kissing.’ “I was like, ‘Woah! What do you mean may or may not…?’ It unfolded from there.” LeAnn, with her suffering music career, added fuel to fire by publicly pampering Brandi Glanville’s son for paparazzi at a family soccer game (Read story on TheHollyweirdTimes.com).…
ReceiptsAdrian Peterson Confesses To Another Secret Love Child?
Ann realized his daddy wasn’t the sucker she’d convinced out of cash, and care, but even better- her baby’s daddy was Adrian Peterson.
ReceiptsGaga The New Michael Jackson? Lady Gaga “Applause” Cover -String Theory
Regardless of how we feel about Lady Gaga’s fashion sense, or ‘his’ sexuality, her music genius is undeniable. Gaga’s musical influence has gotten her a million twitter followers, and Michael Jackson comparisons. She really did an awesome job at this year’s Video Music Awards, but we were blinded by Miley Cyrus’ naked dehydration. Click below to watch String Theory do a beautiful cover of “Applause” with 5 Cellos! Let us know if you #HateIt? or #LoveIt?
ReceiptsDrake And Future Hip Hop Beef
Everybody teases Drake for being an ’emo’ super emotional rapper. His light skin, and pearly grin offend Hip Hop’s true gangsters, like Kendrick Lamar. “And nothing’s been the same since they dropped ‘Control’/And tucked a sensitive rapper back in his pajama clothes/Ha-ha, jokes on you,” Kendrick said. Now, him and Future (Ciara’s new man) are acting like Mitches over a Billboard article, according to Page Six. Future, who was set to earn about $40,000 per gig, is set to file a lawsuit this week against Drake for lost wages, or about…
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