Charlize Theron Is Hot But That Is Not Why Sean Penn Is Smashing

Sean Penn is a greasy, old, sexy bastard.  He’s reignited his hotness, and career, by dating Charlize Theron.  Theron has been waiting longer that Katie, for a man bold enough to step up to her standards.  Sadly, rumors claim Penn is just using her.  Sean has his own fame, and money, so why Charlize?

 

Theron is a South African dime, who may have forked JFK Jr.  She’s skinny, successful, tall, and blonde.  Penn is using her beauty and A-list status to make his, ex wife, Robin Wright jealous.  Can you believe Robin fell in love with a guy young enough to be her son?  Wright hooked up with Ben Foster, 33, on the Rampart set.  Now they’re engaged to be married.

Sean Penn feels like Rob Kardashian.  His feelings are hurt, and he’s super insecure.  Not only has he began Botox treatments, but insiders say he’s addicted to Viagra.  Meanwhile, Robin is getting a young energectic pipe, and snatching up Golden Globes for House of Cards.  Penn is desperate to showcase his revenge showmance, until Charlize Theron figures it out.