Chevy Chase Weight Gain Lands Him Back On SNL

It’s normal to get fat, as you get older- but WTF happened to Chevy Chase?  Is he too rich to even walk to the mailbox?  Chubby Chase is piling on the pounds one Dorito at a time.  His recent heart attack didn’t scare him enough.  He scarfed a Pink’s Hot Dog, as they rushed him to Cedars Sinai hospital.  The 300 pound funny man resembles a white OJ Simpson.  They’re both 6’4, fat, with addictions to busty blondes.  He lost 10 pounds, but gained 50 more like Kirstie Alley.    When Chevy Chase isn’t popping pain killers, he’s torching his Community checks on coffee, and fast food.  Friends and family, are worried disgusted.  They don’t care if he dies from diabetes.  They are more concerned with the reputation, and legacy, they’d be left to wallow in.  Hollyweird’s streets are filled with chatter.  They claim Saturday Night Live is clambering to back-stab their own alumni.   SNL is planning to air a skit starring ______ as the obese version of Chevy Chase.  Lorne Michaels adores Chevy.  Chevy’s talent isn’t affected by his weight.  Showbiz producers, and Hollywood writers are considering bringing him back.  His Kardashian booty back as a starring guest, would make golden headlines.  What do you think?