Nicole Kidman Forces Conner Cruise In Weight Loss Camp

Nicole Kidman is praying to Sony that next year is better than this one.  Her dad died.  Kidman received trashy reviews for her attempt at Grace of Monaco.  She was the first A- Lister to ever be Booed at Cannes Film Festival.  Royals, and movie critics ate Nicole’s ego like a sushi lunch.  What could make things worst?  She never sees Keith, he lives on the road.  The nannies are tired- not from cooking and cleaning though.  They’re tired of Keith Urban’s late night special request.  When Nicole Kidman is not crying in expensive wine, she’s bashing her son, Conner.

DJ Conner Cruise is the typical Hollyweird baby.  He hasn’t made his rehab debut yet.  He spends his rich days looking for himself.  His ability to physically interact, has been hampered by social media.  Kidman thinks he’s headed for a health crisis.  Conner is overweight, and starting to resemble Rob Kardashian.  He refuses to work out.  Conner parties until morning, and chain smokes too!

Gourmand: Connor Cruise looked like he had enjoyed his cosy lunch with a friend in West Hollywood on Wednesday

Conner loves porn, but the nasty habit turns him into a recluse.  Pile that on top of a triple meat, bacon, cheddar burger, and fries.  Conner’s lack of excercise, and disdain for personal hygeine, is even starting to bother Tom Cruise.  His parents are more concerned about his persona affecting their snobby showbiz facade.  Insiders claim Kidman has reduced to bribing  him to join a fat farm.