Tom Cruise Desperate To Dump Scientology And Get Katie Holmes Back

Tom Cruise is tired of  internet porn, so sources say he’s trying to  get Katie Holmes back.  His Scientology hit squad is killing his image, and all his recent time alone makes him resent the word ‘selfie’.    Now that we all know for sure that Katie Holmes split from the ageless superstar for putting his cult like religion before his family, his movie rankings  (and self esteem) are  in the toilet.

We aren’t suggesting that Holmes allowed Jamie Foxx to knock the dust off that poochie, but while Tom has been sulking in his sobriety, Katie has been back on her Hollywood grind.  Tom tried buying some cool clothes, and hanging out with his son, Connor Cruise, but his weirdo swag backfired.

Insiders tell Enquirer, “Tom wants Katie, and their old life together back.  There’s no other woman in his life, and he wants the three of them to be a family again, especially with the holidays around the corner.”

Legal documents slaughtered tabloid headlines, suggesting Tom  was a horrible dad, and chose the Scientology church over Suri Cruise.  Tom’s PR Team jumped into overdrive.  The dust has settled, and Cruise is sad, and alone.  Rumors claim Holmes allowed Tom to smash a few times since the divorce.  She still loves Tom, and is extremely attracted to him.  He is her baby daddy…afterall.

Remember when Tom jumped on Oprah’s couch?  Remember when Katie Holmes started wearing flats, so Tom wouldn’t look so short?  Is there a chance of a reconciliation?

“If Scientology weren’t a factor Tom, and Katie would have reunited by now,” regardless of the beef Nicole Kidman tried to cook.